~With the Star Your Wishes Die~

2005-06-11T20:16:00.000-07:00

I'm going to fly, soon one day. I'm going to reach the goals that i have long ago failed and quit. When i fly i'm going to be freed, not to be held, no longer, by the expectations and thoughts of no one, anyone. When i fly i'm not going to run away, the further you run, the more you feel the emotions. But when i fly i'm not running, i'm achieving, what i always wanted to. I'm going to be great one day, to seize every moment and make it truely my own. I'm not going to watch and remain the helpless person i am, but stand in what i truely am to be. What i am... i will just have to teach myself. If i could fly, i could reach for the moon, and if i were to fail, to quit, at least, hopefully, i would land upon and with the stars.

wow, that was a moment -.-()
sorry it was just i dunno, i'm feelings kind of down.

please may my life get better, i'm sick of waiting for a better tomorrow
All i want is a better today

answer them!

2005-06-08T14:36:00.000-07:00

WUT WOULD U DO..........

1. If i died from natural causes:

2. If i kissed u:

3. If i lived next door to u:

4. I started smokin:

5. I stole somethin:

6. I was hospitalized:

7. I ran away from home:

8. I got into a fite and u weren't there?:

WOULD U:

9. Be my friend?:

10. Keep a secret if i told u one?:

11. Hold my hand?:

12. Take a bullet for me?:

13. Keep in touch?:

14. Try and solve mai problems?:

15. Love me?:

16. Date me?:

HAVE U EVER: .

17. Lied to make me feel better?:

18. Wanted to kiss me?:

19. Wanted to kill me?:

20. Broke mai heart?:

21. Kept somethin important from me?:

22. Thought i was unbearably annoying?:

AND MORE:

23. Who are u?:

24. Are we frendz?:

25. When and how did we meet?:

26. Describe me in one word:

27. What was ur first impression?:

28. Do u still think that way about me now?:

29. What reminds u of me?:

30. If you could give me anything wut would it be?:

31. How well do u know me?:

32. When's da last time u saw me?:

33. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?:

34. Are you gonna put dis on urs to see wut i say about u?

copy and paste them into the comments thing and answer them truthfully.

test

2005-06-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	73%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Empathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Religious	\|\|	10%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Food indulgent	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Need Life...lol

2005-06-07T12:46:00.000-07:00

I'm going to try to learn Spanish and i'm actually going to try this time. Thanks for all the comments! Anyways i woke up realli late today and my brother is starting his camp so it's werid not having him during this point of time, but we are soon to go pick him up.

I went out for Tai food, and my mom treated Miranda and her mom, which was realli cool. We were there for a long time because we foolishly believe we could wait out the rain, by the time we left it was raining harder than previously.

I was suppose to go the mall, but alas it was raining, i'm probably going to go tomorrow and maybe other people will join me. Yeah that would be nice, i have to buy stuff. lol

So I'm writing this, I was goign to go to the gym with Miranda but it's tuesday and i am going with my dad to gym instead cuz well... his gym is better. lol and besides when my mom picks up my brother i have to go to the library and pick up reading materials. lol

I'm so bored that i'm going to "attempt" to knit myself a bookbag or something. lol I'll soon to see how that is to turn out.

I'm going to have a few friends over sometime next week if possible, but i have to complete that stupid wookbook that i have been avoiding for 2 years now... 8th grade reading FCAT... i got a 5 on that and i still have to do it. I wanted to give it to my cousin or somtehing.... lol

All my family is coming over next next week, including my family (mom dad and bro) there is going to be 20 people lol... great i can imagine the space that all of us will have, but i plan to make the best of it, and yeah. At least i have a cousin that is my age...well 2 years older but she seems nice enough, Emily. No not the Emily on my mom's side... the other Emily, on my dad's side lol.

Blahness it's raining and although the rain is great i hate this weather! It's sooooooo upseting you can't do anything becase of it. Damn the florida rain. I don't give a f*ck about the crops!!! *deep breath*

Ken left to Peru i want to go somewhere... i want to drive... i want to drive to Hawaii....

The two hot guys that me and my neighbor friend Katie have been stalking for almost a year now are back. lol, from visisting there dad in North Carolina! ((what a coinsidence!)) ((it was meant to be)) lol. They are soo hot, and they skate and stuff. Hopefully this year me and Katie coudl hang out with them more or something. So hott!!!

BTW we are not full stalkers.... not yet anyways

I want to go shopping :-(

Summer.. woot...?

2005-06-06T11:14:00.000-07:00

It's summer and i'm wishing that i was at school... yes school.

I am hanging aroudn being forced to do workbooks that i have no desire to do. Kathey is gone to who knows where, G has already left to go to New Jersey, although i'm glad he got to ttay a week later then expected cux his brother had his girlfriend over or something like that. My two savors are gone... i'm bored.

Well i just got back from a party at Miranda's and it was fun, but seeing her room cleared and the fridge and the pantry beginning to empty (i was looking for food) it was so sad for me and i can't believe that another friend it leavning me!! :-( it's aweful.

The party was overall fun, and i got to associate with freinds that i used to be very good friends with but have changed during the time. We watched Saved, many of us for the second time. Went to sleep around 3, which is most definitely a record to Miranda.

I got to talk to Michelle about Everglades and all the things to expect, and i'm looking more forward to it then ever! The only thing i am worried about is the whole cliques (clicks) and group things, and not being able to fit in one. But I'm sure i'll make friends somehow... lol

I taking summer into advantage and i'm goign to lose weight, and for those who insist that i don't need to i'm simply getting "healthier." I'm realli hopin i will look nice by the beginning of school, and realli slim down *crosses fingers* Pleazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

*jumps up and down* i got mydigital camera to be good and now i can show pictures!! (although some may be old... i'm still very happy with myself for fixing this.. well more like figuring it out...) Dont' kill my happiness.

((that is that kitty (miranda's kitten) (lizander) and i'm allergic to but uhh yes you can't get him away for me))

((i'm not obssessed....))

((i'm not....))

((Vannesa, Me, and Miranda))

((Christina))

((lol))

((picutre of my "it's not messy it's untidy" room, thanks for G it helping my clean it!!!!))

((i don't know him... i just took a picture with him because well... he called my crazy..... i was geting high off of life, nothing wrong with that!!!!))

((needless to say... high... life...))

((the induction ceremony and the table that people would look at you))

((the graduation that got cancelled....the first one that got rained on.))

((lol... i'm in denal that they are related))

CRAZY DRIVER....

yes so i'm going shopping hopefully... but i have to do FCAT workbooks... and i can't do anything until i finish them... *tears*

Good-bye and graduation...

2005-06-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

I haven't said all my good-byes! it was sooo hard to fine people. Today was awesome yet sad for me. I got to hang out with all my freinds and everyone, finally got to play DDR not once, but multiple times, and my mom said that i could get it!! Isn't that wonderful!?!?! Great i'm tired and i need to take out my contacts before anything. So yes. i'm done now. So took off my contacts and yes i'm done.

I've been dreading this day since i actually started to make friends that i would feel guilty about if i just disapeared to Everglades or any other school for that matter. But today was everything that i hoped it would be, it was happy and i didnt' cry!! Yes!!! So yes

I didnt' get to give out the index cards and i'm realli sad about that, because i spent sooo mcuh time into them, they all had little logos that i drew that i thought protrayed something in your life... or a symbol that i thought symbolized you. I also wrote a paragraph about each and every person and things that i wanted to say to you, or how i really felt about you, but never would say out loud. I had it all on my computer in perfect fonts and different colors and the right measurements to put it on the index cards and it was just sooo perfect!! but then my printer did. So i'm goign to have to post them here, but my computer is being the worst and i can only find like 4 currently.

Miranda- I’m going to miss you soo much and I know I have told you that many times. You have been the bestest friend to me since 6th grade and I hope that our friendship will be like wine, the older the better… (something that I remember reading on your mom’s b-day card) anyways I know that we’ll keep in touch so I’m not worried as much as I was. Texas is going to be awesome and well hot cowboys what can I say…. Save a horse ride a cowboy. Buy anyways, get me a hot cowboy pen-pal and when you open up your locker and see my picture… well say that I’m a single hot azn girl. Lol keyword SINGLE… lol. And remember the value of brandname!!!!

Diana- Although I knew you last year, I think it was this year that I really got to know you, this year. You’re a great person and you are very committed to you religion and your morals, which is really important. I’m glad that I got to know you and I’m glad that we got to become really good friends and I guess all I really can say is Fliez Na Vadad…. That was either Merry Christmas or Happy Birthday. Stay in touch, as we hope to do.

Micheal- yes I know I spelt your name wrong… it think it looks better this way. I dunno anything to say because well. I don’t know you. (what?! I was being truthful) Although I don’t know you… well I know you I just don’t know you know you… lol You seem like a great person a little quiet…. Toooo quiet but you’re a nice person and I’m beginning to think that you like saying yo-mama…. But I might be wrong. Good Luck at Somerset and hopefully I’ll like Everglades a lot more than you. Frostybanana….

Anai- w00t! Anai… well I’m going to tell you the history of your name… yes the history. At first when I met you I though your name was spelt aneye… (an eye) but I later was told otherwise, personally I like the Anai way better. So here is an eye… lol anyways. I always thought you were a great moral support. Many people have offered to help me and have told me that they would be there of me and I truly think that you kept your word. There were times when you listened to my problem and issues and you listened and gave advice. There is no amount that can ever thank you enough for that. But for now I just can say thank you, and if you ever need me, I’ll be happy and grateful to be able to return the favor.

Anyways those are the ones i can find. I am going to miss all my friends but i know that our paths will cross again, and i'm finally freshmeat!!! i graduated and everything!
((By the way if anyone has any pictures PLEASE EMAIL THEM TO ME!!!! literaltradegy73@yahoo.com and please! and thanks))
Dont' worry i'm going to add the other names once i get the opportunity and i give my computer a cookie.... well actually i have to remove the cookies in my computer to make it work better..... whatever

please comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday Night... All alone

2005-05-28T19:46:00.000-07:00

BLAH! Today was supposed to be fun! I guess I can’t say it wasn’t. I got to go to Sawgrass with my family and I got to buy yet again another wallet.

I got upset at my mom and my dad because they kept taking me to these old people stores… stores that I could probably see my friend’s parents or teachers there, to buy a graduation dress. Because now that everyone has seen the first whore dress I have to get another that no one has seen before…even though I promised that I would never say it… I refuse to wear the same dress twice within such a close time frame. But whatever…

And then I got mad at my mom because she wouldn’t let me get this bikini!!! AHHH! It was sooo cute! And I was going to buy it but my mom said it showed too much! OMG! It was Roxy! She allows me to buy swimsuit things from Victoria Secret but not Roxy which showed a lot less then the ones she bought for me and AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

But I’m better I made strawberry with chocolate… but I messed up but I’m happy. I already talked to Miranda and some other people and I finally get to see Star Wars tomorrow. I was going to see it today but because of a lack of communication on my part I couldn’t or wasn’t aware of when to go.

8th grade graduation was sooo uhh unorganized, I suppose you would say, so it started to rain and I was getting so impatient, so was the rest of the people. We went down stairs (we were planning to walk down the emergency stair exits in the middle school building onto the basketball court) so we realize how hard it is pouring. And then Mr. Montero comes down the stairs to tell us that how the graduation was cancelled and will be postponed until Thursday.

Now our graduation is going to be on the last day of school. We are limited to 3 guests. It’s in a Floridian Ballroom and everything food and the school pays for everything. G (Jeovanni) was going to be my date but now because it’s on the last day of school he is leaving to go to New Jersey to see his cousin. GREAT! So now I don’t even have a date or a guy friend or whatever! (no G is not my boyfriend, just a friend who my parents approved of taking, and a really great friend) and AHH! But I’m not as upset over it as I was earlier. So yes.

I want to like call someone but everyone is gone somewhere, watching a movie, or just not home… I’m so bored…

I’ve spent so much time at Miranda’s house; sooner or later I think I might just move in. She is moving and I just can’t believe it. I’m going to miss her so much and I’m just thankful that she is moving to somewhere that I have family nearby meaning I could visit her whenever I go to visit family in Okalahoma and my older cousin who works in Dallas. I’m going to miss her tons, more then everything and omg… everyone seems to be leaving but I’m getting used to it. *deep sigh* it still hurts but at least… yeah…

This entry is getting so long but I have nothing else to do but write. Maybe I’ll work on my story, but it’s getting boring. I get bored with everything so easily. I think I’ll take a shower… or finally study for my finals.
By the way… I never did find a graduation dress… but I got a Fossil wallet, lol

please comment

Good-byes

2005-05-27T14:06:00.000-07:00

The stars will cry, the blackest tears tonight, and this is the moment that i live for i can smell the ocean air and here i am here i am pouring my heart ontop of the rooftops...

Everyone is leaving maybe not today but the day is coming close. I had to say good-bye to danny and he may be the one who is leaving but i started to cry. Danny has been the great freind to me and i was so sad. I don't know how i am going to survive the last day of school. It hurts me because i knwo that once we leave, anyone leaves, i leave i know that freindships will be tested and i know for a fact that many will not last. I want to be freinds with everyone and i want people to stay freinds with me, but i know it is going to be har for i have been tested and i even failed, the closest to me have been tested and even yet they fail.

I know that leaving is an option and if i wanted to stay i could, but i don't know. Everglades just seems full of opportunity, and in a way i am still running away from people and things, past. I look at people and i just can't get over the fact that many i have hrt in a way. It is just so tiring and maybe a start would be great. I'm just so scared that i might fail yet again a new beginning.

I am sure that i'm going to Everglades and in a way i speak so highly because i'm hoping that everything that i have been told and my hopes i just hope that they are true and i just don't know anymore. Just please i want to be better and excel.

My greatest fear is going to be failing because i've failed to many times.

I hate good-byes and in a way i wish that i could have left without any. I wish that i could live without any and just be happy and innocent, unaware to the fact that people are going to leave and changing is always a factor that i would have to face.

i'm finally done crying. Now i can put a smile and act as though good-byes were a routine that has no effect on me. i'm kinda embarrassed that i just started crying in front of everyone lol.

Everglades... please be a better choice
please make leaving everyone worth it to me

Please let me keep my friends

Please Comment

*~With the Star Your Wishes Die~*